On my way to spinsterhood.
May 14th, 2007 by kitliz
Occasionally I stop over at RooshV (used to be DCbachelor when I started reading him) to get my daily/weekly/monthly dose of either thinking he’s halfway brilliant or else wanting to show him what a girl with a good right cross can do to his “Alpha Male.”
Today he linked back to this post which basically informed me that because I’m over the age of 25, not married, and not entirely sure I ever want to be married, I will become a dried-up childless spinster over the course the next decade.
And here I was just aiming to be the crazy power-tool collecting cat lady.
I’m not saying Roosh is wrong… because while what he’s saying comes off as shallow and mysoginistic at times, the fact is that it’s about choice. I made my choices… not to stay with my high school boyfriend, who would have waited for me and married me in a minute. He is now married with his third child on the way, no stable job, and lives in a trailer behind his parents house.
I didn’t get back together with that guy in college who was an instructor at my Taekwondo school, and who also lied to my face, broke up with my voicemail, and then came crawling back a month later. He’s married and living in South Florida with his own school and a pile of debt.
I broke up with the guy I lived with for two years. The guy I had zero sex life and wanted to strangle as often as I wanted to laugh with. He just bought new four-wheelers and is starting his own business.
I can look back at all of those choices and rightly give myself a high-five. Way-to-go, girl, for knowing yourself enough not to tie yourself to any of these men in the eyes of God and the law. Because if at any point in my life it was spinsterhood or these boys… buy me another cat and one of those flower-print dresses people, I’m so on my way to that creaky rockingchair on the porch and beating the neighborhood kids with my cane.
I’m not delusional, I know that 90% of men would rather have a perky-though-brainless 22 year old rather than a smart, capable woman with laugh lines in her late 30’s. Then again my almost-fifty mother is dating a 37 year old musician. Ten years ago she was dating a guy younger than my last boyfriend. And the goddamn truth is that I don’t want 90% of men.
If a man wants that 20 year old ass more than he wants me (and MysteryMan just may find himself in this situation in the next decade, he’s totally an ass-man) hey, I think he should go for it! Because no way I want to be with a guy who only values me for how I look. Spinsterhood seems like a great alternative to Misery.
And Roosh, while he makes some good points to the men about how to approach a girl, or find one worth keeping, he’s speaking to a very generic base of people. Or what I should say, is he is speaking about very generic people.
If I’m going to promise the rest of my life to a guy, I don’t want generic. I want unique. I want the guy that is going to value me and everything I have to offer over that 20 year old ass. And if I can’t have that… if I can’t have a lover and life partner and someone who will think I’m beautiful at eighty, then I’ll have none at all thanks.
And if I were to decide to have a child without the perfect guy (and I’m speaking from experience here) better for that kid to grow up with one loving, happy, well-adjusted parent, than with two unhappy ones.
So I’m raising my margarita glass to all you girls over 25, because we may be on the road to spinsterhood, but it’s gonna be one hell of a ride!
Recycling Cabinet
DIY Wine Rack
everytime you write a post like this it kicks me in the gut…cause now all my other girlfriends look silly compared to you (hell, and half of my male friends for that matter).
you freakin’ rock…
I’m right there with you-on the way to spinsterhood, apparently. I had no idea that 25 was the cut off. I’ll raise my glass with you!
25!! It keeps getting younger! Or am I getting older …? Ha ha.
Girl, I am SO RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! I will never understand why some people would rather be unhappy and in a relationship than happy and not. I hate that our society puts so much of an emphasis on that. Maybe if we all tried harder and had higher standards, the world would be better.
“And here I was just aiming to be the crazy power-tool collecting cat lady.”
That was worth one great, uncontrolable laugh. Thanks!
I’m almost 25 and probably on the way to cat-lady-hood myself, so I’m right there with you! I’d rather be single and adopt a kid than tie my life to someone who’s not “the one”.
“Spinsterhood seems like a great alternative to Misery”- this is going to be my new line when my uncle (on his third cocktail) asks why I am still single.
Fear not
It sounds like you’ve made some great escapes, and that dude who said 25 was the cut off has his head…located somewhere in the middle of a yoga pose…
Anyway. Great post, but don’t get the extra cat quite yet