(aka The Death of a Dremmel)

This is now the third time my breasts have tested the limits of my dremmel, and this time, they won.

Black and Decker… you have met your demise.

No, I haven’t totally lost it. I can explain.

I haven’t been posting a plethora of new and exciting things because I’ve been working diligently on a couple of broom orders. Except for the part where the router removes one of my fingers, broommaking is fairly hazard free. Of course, due to the direction the dremmel rotates and the fact that I’m right handed, when I’m actually carving a broomstick the motion of my hand is coming toward myself. This is never a problem except for at the very end of the broomstick when the dremmel bit must come off of the wood to shape the very end, and has, on the occassion of an overenthusiastic swipe, come in contact with the loose area of shirt fabric located directly between my breasts.

Not kidding. Not funny.

Okay, a little funny.

I have done this with wifebeater-over-sportsbra outfits and semi-loose t-shirt outfits… all to the same end. The shirt gets twisted up around the bit in the blink of an eye and I have to pull away from myself with all of my might with one hand while locating the please-god-turn-it-off switch with the other.

Mind you, none of this would ever happen if I had a nice flat chest that did not get in the way of dremmel blades or create an inconvienient baggy area where the bit can find extra fabric to grab on to. So yes, I blame it on the breasts.

Now before you all start saying “your father was right, this is a sign that girls should not ever under any circumstances use power tools“, let me just say that I have never even come close to knicking my skin and I think it would be almost impossible if you saw how quickly the bit becomes covered with fabric. However this time, the old B&D motor said “enough of this bullshit” and literally started spitting sparks at me. It was not amused.

And I have to say, mostly Black & Decker tools should only be purchased if you never intend to actually use them. Ever. But this dremmel (I know they are called rotary tools or whatever and dremmel is the brand name, but I’m going to keep calling it that anyway. Deal.) has sustained major abuse in the four or five years it has been a part of my tool family. I’m a little melencholy about having to replace it.

But hey, brooms gotta get made…

 Neither Lowes nor Home Depot carry the B&D model anymore (although I just missedthe HD clearance sale on them, go figure) so now I have the equivalent Dremmel dremmel.

Which is all pretty and good, but there is nothing I hate like having to buy a new power tool that is just like the one I had five minutes ago that was in perfect working order. Helllllo universe, someone needs a finish nailer, palm router, and mini-lathe… not another dremmel… hello? hello? fates? Master of the universe? Anyone?

Would you like something a little more exciting than boobs and dremmel talk (as if!)? Hey look, I designed a zig-zaggy crookedbroom!

 Very angular, isn’t it?

MysteryMan was all giving it the eyebrow wrinkle and saying ”So how are you going to get it round??” And I was like “It’s supposed to be a ZIG-ZAG… obviously.”

I’m telling you, that boy is going to get a permanent tic from all the time he spends walking around here shaking his head at me.

And speaking of him and adorable, he is currently visiting his Aunt in the great state of Texas so that he can drive his grandparents all the way back to this end of the country. Actually, let me amend that, he’s going to be driving back with his grandparents and their parrot. The same parrot who likes to threaten my digits with his razor sharp beak and then literally laughs like a maniac when I scream and hide my hands behind my back. Huh. Parrot-humor.

Anyway, from what I can tell about his first day there, usual activities include stealing some railroad ties, chasing baby turkeys into a pen, and watching goats climb trees.  Man, if this is what Texas is like, I’m totally there.

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