It’s my life, and welcome to it.

I’ve been having the most spectacularly draining days this week, but upon reflection I also realize I’ve been laughing a whole lot. Life is many things, but when you’re vacillating between hysterical laughter and “sweet baby jesus, I need a nap” every hour, it sure ain’t boring.

Changing My Name

It reality changing my name is one of the sticking points on why MysteryMan and I are in year 3 of “committed life together without marriage,” however, there are times in this town when it would be better for me to be anonymous. Specifically because my family has a certain level, of, um, notoriety. For flipping cars over with backhoes and taking guns into airports. And also for being respectable business people, of course.

I mentioned to Ricky recently that I was part of a team that’s consulting with our local religious order (read, Nuns) and I know when he says things like “do they know who you are?”, I’m about to hear something I don’t want to know.

Like how 25 years ago my grandfather was digging a pond for the nuns, and when the bulldozer got stuck, Sister Mary Francis said “Is there anything I can do to help?” To which my grandfather replied “Sister, you better go behind that tree and start praying, because I’m about to start swearing.”

That’s going to make work interesting for the next couple of months.

Speaking of Notoriety (and Drama Queens)

MysteryMan isn’t nearly as rowdy as the men in my family he works with, but there’s something to be said about the fact that he tried to blow up half of the City of Trees yesterday.

I thought I was having a crazy day until MysteryMan sent me this:

His crew is demoing some buildings, and apparently didn’t have enough excitement in their lives, so they hit a gas main. (Sound familiar? It’s getting so as, if he’s not trying to blow himself up once a year, I start to think something’s wrong.)

Then the news showed up.

According to FOX 36.

The gas line break that caused homes and businesses… to be evacuated has been all but cleared up.

The break occurred on Summit Street between Monroe and Maplewood. Some six homes north of the break were evacuated.

One block of Summit Street remains closed. Westbound traffic on Monroe Street is congested due to emergency equipment.

The truth is:

• No homes got evacuated, unless by “evacuated” you mean “people came outside to see what all the fuss was about”
• No businesses got evacuated, and we should know as we own all the businesses in that immediate area
• There is approximately one stoplight in our historic little city. Traffic wasn’t backed up you drama queens, the light was red.

I’d also like to point out that for half of this news segment they were showing video of our generator. I blink eleven times and look questioningly at MysteryMan, to which he replies, “I have no idea. We couldn’t figure out what the hell they were doing when they were taping it.”

Apparently it looked newsworthy. Here’s to excellent reporting guys!

Makes My Projects Seem Easy

Every once in a while this website is the catalyst for conversations that absolutely make my day. This week I received one of the best emails ever from Arron at calfinder.com, with whom, I’d like to note, I share the distinction of having extraordinarily second toes. Both Arron and I are hoping this is an indication of latent super-powers that we have yet to discover. Until that happy date we can all amuse ourselves with articles about window replacement in the Star Wars universe. I have to admit, that post made me chuckle, especially amid my current personal struggle with installing bigass pieces of glass in the station without breaking them.

And, can I also just say, um, garage door love.

And… Just In Case You Didn’t Know

Let’s end this one with another of those sweet nothings MysteryMan is always whispering in my ear.

Me: Well, I love everything about you.

MysteryMan: You are mildly retarded.

Just makes you get all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it?