Note: I’d just like to thank all the regulars who’ve dropped me bits of encouragement over the last couple of posts. I really am down-to-the-bones exhausted, and hey! I’ve got to build a donkey barn in four days! I know I’m crazy, and I also know I can do anything I set my mind to, but it sure is nice to get your virtual pats on the back as well. So big shout out to lisa, amisare waswerebeen, meryl rose, aimee, the tiny homestead, carrie @ brickcitylove, all my other readers, and especially my two “badass” grandmothers who are the inspiration for this post. And a lot of the other things I do.
Back when the temperature was above freezing and we weren’t buried under a foot of snow, MysteryMan had a bunch of friends over to Memorial for a bonfire. When I copped to building those handy picnic table benches the guys were sitting on, one of them said to me, “I love a girl who knows how to read a tape. Where’d you learn to do all this?”
And in my head I’m all, Dude…tape measures have numbers on them. What is this? Rocket science?
But what came out of my mouth was, “I mean, where did you learn how to use a drill?”
And he blinked at me eleven times like that was a stupid question. Except hey, no answer. Because one day you just pick up a drill and use it. And then you you realize that what used to take 7 minutes of hand-turning a screw driver just took you 3 seconds and now you have plenty of time to go paint your toenails. And next thing you know you’re framing in a new bathroom.
Is being able to read a tape, or use a drill, or build a picnic table, or build a donkey barn in four days really that awesome? A lot of men (and women for that matter) do this stuff all of the time. I didn’t create this website to hear everyone tell me “You’re AWESOME!” Though I admit, sometimes it is a nice contrast to the other phrase I hear all the time. “You’re CRAZY!”
Boys aren’t born knowing how to use tools, build birdhouses, or climb trees any better than girls are. I suspect it is more rare for boys to ever think that they couldn’t put in a fence, or tear down a wall, or change the oil in their car, because they grew up with a dad, or an uncle, or a guy on TV doing those things.
Neither my father or mother were really “Let’s jump in and get our hands dirty” kind of role models when I was growing up. But you know who was?
Both of my tough-as-nails, get-it-done, beautiful, talented grandmothers.
Not that I don’t have a plethora of things to thank my parents for. (Financial responsibility and business sense? Thanks Dad. College degrees? Thanks mom.)
But this thing I do? The jumping in with both feet, nothing is going to stop me attitude? I have to believe some of that comes from the fact that these awesome women were showing me how to lay a brick edge around a vegetable garden when I was three, instead of telling me to go play with my dolls.
As much as they deny responsibility for some of my better personality traits, is it really hard to believe that little girl in that picture was doing this until midnight tonight?
Anything I am capable of that is out of the ordinary came from people in my life, like my grandmothers, who taught me to believe that if I really put my mind to something, I could not fail.
It’s not awesome that I do it, it’s awesome that I am surrounded by women who believe in me.
(Some of the men still haven’t jumped on that train yet, but I love you guys anyway.)
To my grandmothers: I love you. Thank you for all the gifts you’ve given me – especially the intangible ones. And boy am I hoping I’m half as gorgeous as both of you when I have a crazy, house-building, dangerously-close-to-thirty granddaughter.
To everyone who is taking on the impossible: I don’t know what kind of big, crazy, everyone-is-telling-you-you-can’t-do-it things you have going on in your lives, but let me tell you something I learned from some very smart women… Yes, you can.
So tell me, what kinds of things are you undertaking that sometimes make you think you’re crazy, and what inspires you to believe you can get them done?
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Comments
G
While I do credit my mom and grandmother for instilling me with independence, I must say that it wasn’t until I discovered the Internet and blogs like yours that I realized my true potential as a badass wrench-wielding woman. Whatever made me think that I could embark on renovating a house while trying to upgrade and sell two apartments- it has been through your blog that I’ve kept my sanity. Just knowing I’m not alone in thinking the mini- donkeys need a home, duh that’s top priority… Even if say there’s no functioning bathroom on the premises for humans, Of Course those donkeys deserve nothing but the best;)
Sara @ Russet Street Reno
My mom is so kickass, she has helped me with countless things in my life. My dad also has his moments, but when I want to landscape, build things, refinish floors, etc, I looked to her. The only thing I actually helped *her* with was tiling. Oh, and anything having to do with computer troubleshooting. I can totally appreciate you tiling until midnight….it’s not like you can just STOP in the middle of it, right? I also feel that as long as I have friends to give me advice, I can do almost anything.
ps – your grandmas are uber stylish!
meryl rose
Yay for the fabulous women who inspire us!!! It is true, why is it so amazing that girls can do “those things” too? I always find it insulting when people come over to our house and are surprised that I actually work on our house too. Assholes. I also had a dad who encouraged me beyond belief too. He was a pretty handy guy and I worked on projects with him when I was little. To this day, if he needs help on a construction project he asks me instead of my older brother (and I love it everytime, ahahahha, suck it Adam!
)
Great post!!!!
lisa
Thanks for the shout out!
I really identify with your post. I grew up as free labor (in the nicest way). At 10 I could identify the different screw drivers, help put down a roof and figure out the weeds from the flowers. My dad expected that from us. So, when moving in with my dude, I found his family in awe that I could cut wood, drill, and mow the lawn. It’s so weird the reaction you get from others for the sole reason that you are a woman that can do stuff.
Keep on building! I’m looking forward to seeing that donkey barn.
carrie @ brick city love
Thanks for the shout-out! That’s really sweet of you. You totally kick-ass and I’m thrilled to have found another women who owns all the power tools.
I have to give credit to my parents for my “I can do anything” mentality. My dad can build or fix anything. Growing up, he was the one building an addition on to our house or teaching me to sweat copper pipe (though I was 3, and don’t really remember the details). He never subscribed to the typical gender roles and included my brother & I equally.
My mom is master of all things domestic. She taught me how to sew, cook, and entertain. Crafts & making stuff were common activities growing up. She is the visionary and my father makes it happen. I like to think I’m a combination of their talents, though not as skilled as either one. I can’t drop a zipper in like Mom can, nor am I as knowledgeable about construction as Dad but I hope these skills come with time.
I guess I figure people a lot dumber than me do this stuff all the time; I should be able to figure it out. Course having such awesome mentors and resources (like blogs & google) helps immensely.
kitliz
My favorite part about this post is the comments so far!
G- Love that you’re living up to your “badass potential”
Sara – Isn’t it awesome when the tables are turned, and now you are helping your parents out with their remodeling? And no, of course you can’t just stop in the middle.
Meryl – So cool that you are the go-to project person for your dad. Mine asked for my opinion on putting in cabinets the other day and I almost fell out of my chair.
Lisa – I think we should get pictures of all the people who first see us use our tools. We could be capturing the image right before peoples eyeballs fall out of their head in shock.
Carrie – I know what you’re saying. I’m probably not as good at domestic as one of my grandmothers, or quite so badass as the other one… but there’s something to be said for having the mix. And also, I think we will get better at all of those skills over time.
All of your comments are inspiring me ever more today. Love it!
kelly@TearingUpHouses
(Awww! Look how cute you were as a kid?!)
I can relate to this post a bit… I’ve been told that I can’t do most of the things that I’ve done in the past. When I was younger (early twenties), I was so motivated shut down those assumptions. Looking back, I probably felt like I had something to prove. Lately (I turned 30 this year), though, that fire has died down a lot.
We recently moved, and it’s funny to see a lot of the judgement calls that our new neighbors are making about us. For example, all of them have assumed that all of our properties are Andrew’s or SOMETHING. There’s always this air that I’m some sort of uneducated trophy wife who twiddles around picking out curtains. (Not that there’s anything wrong with you Trophy Wives. You’re lovely people, too.)
Anyway, it doesn’t bother me like it would have a decade ago.
You asked about inspiration?
Back then it was all about proving myself, I think — though I hate to admit it. Today, it’s about happiness and a personal sense of accomplishment.
Did that sound really hokey? Yeah, I know it did, but it’s true.
Kelly