For about three months I’ve been saying with regularity that I’ll reveal the big man-cave bathroom renovation next week. Mind you, this thing has been in the works since back in early January.

But ever since the fixtures became usable, actually finishing the tile and trimming out the windows has been lower on the priority scale than say, hauling 437 wheelbarrow loads of rubble out of the house.

(This happens a lot in my life.)

With most other pressing projects taken care of, I found myself with two days this weekend that could be devoted entirely to finishing the bathroom. And I spent a good portion of both of them with my tape measure and the miter saw.

I trimmed out the door.

I built casings for the windows.

I installed the rest of the tile.

And then at 8:03 PM on Sunday, I had only to install the last piece of chair-rail, grout a few miscellaneous strips of tile, and call it finished.

Except somewhere along the line– probably three months ago when I started installing the chair rail– I miscalculated. And ended up with this:

Side note: I took this picture to send to MysteryMan so he would understand why, when he got home, he would find my head spinning around on my shoulders and steam coming out of my ears. I didn’t realize until later that apparently I had been possessed by ET which caused my finger to grow three inches in length. To go with my seven foot long arm.What the hell is going on here?

Oddly distorted appendages aside, let’s just say that after two trips to the lumber aisle this weekend, the fact that I ended up just short of what I needed to finish, just after every self-respecting home improvement store closed, was not the way I wanted to end the day. So I went rummaging through my scrap wood pile and ended up with a splinter the size of a small tree limb lodged under one of my fingernails. And then I thought we’d call it a night.

A somewhat related note

So a few weeks ago DIYdiva underwent a change from “traditional look-and-feel” to what the kids are calling “content-based design”, which is a fancy way of saying the big image at the top of the page changes depending on my post (i.e. content). I kind of love it – more photography, less clutter. And for the most part I only feature images that I’ve shot and edited myself.

It’s possible that I have an unnatural fondness for taking pictures of tools and this gives me an outlet.

But sometimes a two-inch-too-short piece of molding throws a wrench in the works and next thing you know you’re inexplicably bleeding from a fingernail and the images of the finished bathroom that you’re supposed to be editing don’t exist. Which is when I turn to iStock.

And then I find images like this and have to turn around a look behind me to make sure someone isn’t playing a trick on me.

Um…

First of all, the description from iStock says, “Builder girl in a helmet on his head.” So there’s that. Which is only slightly less confusing than the fact that someone took this picture with the express idea that someone else out there in the universe may at one time need a picture of a “builder girl” in a short skirt and club shirt wearing a tool belt. Because I know I don’t even attempt to swing my hammer unless my entire midriff is bared for the world to see. There’s only actually one industry I can think of that would buy this, and it ain’t construction.

Slightly less “you’re kidding, right istock?” but no less confusing…

I know stock photos exist for a reason, but seriously? Who in the history of the universe has ever tried to hold a nail and hammer it in wearing big yellow gloves? Do people actually do this? Because maybe it’s just me but 1.) This would make me way more likely to smash the hell out of my finger and 2.) you know,  on second thought I don’t I think the hammer, the hardhat, and the oddly positioned tape measure might were enough to tip me off that this was “a construction worker hammering a nail.” I’m glad they put the big yellow gloves in there, or I might have taken this out of context.

This one, however, I think I have the context of perfectly.

I like a good metaphor as much as the next person. And even if it wasn’t a “helping hands” metaphor, I still like the idea that I may just be able to call out to the universe “Level please!” at an arm would appear from the mysterious white space and give it to me. But in that case, why do I need a tool belt?

And why am I asking for pliers, gloves, a hammer, and an embarrassingly small utility knife when I have all of them in my tool belt at this very minute? I mean, appreciate the help oddly-bodiless-tool-gods, but I’m good, thanks.

Maybe there’s a niche for people who are unnaturally fond of taking pictures of their tools after all.

Unless the universe conspires against me again, the big bathroom reveal and more exciting news tomorrow.

EDIT: In keeping with the theme, when I I noticed my header image today is also too short, which throws off the layout of the page, but seriously? today it is what it is.

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