Well this week has been an epic emotional roller coaster, and it’s not even goddamn Wednesday yet. So that’s going to give me five new gray hairs… at least. (If you didn’t read the update on Monday’s post, all the farmland around me went up for auction, and the purchase price ended up being over my max spending limit.) But, you guys are so hilarious/awesome/supportive about all of the things I do that it was worth all the crazy this week just to feel all the encouragement and good vibes from everyone. If I haven’t said it enough yet, thank you.
When I get put in situations of intense pressure I’m pretty good at focusing in on what needs to be done, and shunting off anything else that I would normally give time and attention to. So for the last month all of my energy has been focused on: 1.) my job (because I work with awesome people that I would never want to let down, and, you know, it also pays the bills), 2.) getting the pergola built for the TV shoot (because no one wants to look like a complete ass on camera) and 3.) getting all of the financing/planning in place for buying that farmland. And, seriously, that’s it. On the list of things I didn’t worry about? Oh, you know: eating, sleeping, taking care of the house, seeing friends, laundry, existing projects, new projects, or taking care of myself in any way, shape or form. ugh.
That kind of hyper-focus is amazing for making a push to get some shit done, but it’s not sustainable for much longer than a month (unless you like getting sick… because not taking care of yourself is no good for the immune system, guys) but I’ll say this… it works. And, even more than that, while it’s totally exhausting, I also find that when I’m “in the zone” like that I’m actually stockpiling energy and motivation for, well, whatever comes after.
If the auction had gone in my favor, I would have used that energy for figuring out financing, first-year cash flow, planning, networking, and working through a massive learning curve about running a farm as a business, and just about everything else that isn’t essential would have been put on the back burner for the next year. Financially, all of my money would have gone into the new business, so there wouldn’t have been new projects or new tools, I’d have pushed back non-essential maintenance (on the property and on myself), I would have held off on adding to the orchards or apiary (and definitely no new animals like goats or sheep.) Life would have looked very different for the next two years.
And you know what, at the right price for the land, all of that would have been worth it. I ran the numbers and knew exactly what I was signing up for– both from a financial and a time/effort perspective– and I also knew the point at which it wasn’t going to make financial sense, and stopped there.
So here’s what I’m left with today: A whole bunch of time, energy, and financial flexibility that I’d already mentally sacrificed… and holy shit, am I ready to roll on some things. For example:
1.) The Guest Bedroom – I always feel a little “ugh” about having friends stay in this room which I basically tossed a mattress and some old furniture into at one point and haven’t done anything else with since.
Oh, yes. That’s awesome.
The fact that one of my very favorite “internet friends” is coming to hang out on the farm next week (there is going to be so much beer and shop talk… it’s going to be awesome) was enough motivation to just DO SOMETHING ALREADY with this room. 24 hours post-auction and I’ve already got a new bed, linens, and room accessories lined up, and I put a coat of paint on the walls tonight.
I was not kidding about that “I have a shitload of extra energy” thing.
2.) Honey Harvest
I am so, so excited for this. One of the “bigger” sacrifices I was going to make was going to be on beekeeping equipment. I knew that it would be a few years until I could put money and effort back into beekeeping, but now I’m researching extractors and all kinds of things to get ready for my upcoming harvest, plus a few new hives next year.
AND I’ve been brushing up on honey recipes in anticipation… can’t wait.
3.) Projects for Friends
Enough about me already. Sometimes there’s so much more joy in building stuff for the awesome people in my life, and that’s what I have, by the way… and abundance of awesome. My family, friends, coworkers, and everyone who reads this website… completely awesome. I don’t take that for granted and I don’t want to spoil any surprises, but I have a few ideas that have been brewing for the awesome people in my life that I’d like to knock out in the next couple of weeks and I’m excited to have the time and means to do that for them.
So, yeah, I’ve got things on my plate, but it’s a whole lot of awesome things… things that make me feel energized and powerful and like hell yes I have a vision for this part of my life and I’m going to make it real. That doesn’t mean I’m not a little melancholy about the way the auction turned out… I am fully acknowledging my less-than-happy feelings about that, but I’m also embracing all the other things I love to do in life, and I feel like that’s a good balance.
We don’t always have to justify or explain-away things that are uncomfortable in life. I think it’s good to acknowledge and accept them, but also not to let those feelings hold you back from all of the other badass things you can do either.
18 Responses
Hi Kit – just found your blog yesterday and I am enjoying it very much. Sorry you didn’t get the land, but sometimes things happen for good reasons. I will surely follow you from now on, love your good spirit and get up and get going attitude.
Greetings from Lise in Denmark
Lise when I found Kit’s blog, I had to go back to the beginning and read the whole thing. It’s a great blog and I couldn’t help but feel like her life should be made into a book or a movie!
Stacy, I have done the same thing – having renovated several houses myself, I find it so amusing, the project but also very much the style of writing, love the tongue in cheek humour. And yes : we want a movie !
Kit…I do believe things happen for a reason. You’ve been physically and emotionally stretched for awhile…adding financial pressure to the mix might just push you over the edge. You’re living a good life, doing good things, giving of yourself to the house, the animals and the land. It would not surprise me if you eventually get the land around the house. Kvell in all that you’ve accomplished and the beautiful little piece of paradise you’ve created. There’s nothing wrong with spending extended periods of time in a hammock…plus you just might come up with some new ideas of things to do with and around your farm! I can think of all kinds of things…
I find that one project—the actual act of getting something done you’ve been toying with for months or years—often inspires me to tick another thing off the list. Sometimes it’s not even the project I’ve been thinking about the most, but some side thing that suddenly calls to me. Those weekend projects can add up.
Glad you’re in such a good place. You got there by listening to that little voice inside you that knows what’s best. More of us should do that.
Seriously, you must be my little sister from another life. My family just recently went through this on their farm and the land went about $2k/acre higher than their budget. I’ve always been worried the farmer around our land would sell his 75 (part of the original 80 that came with our house) off in little pieces and people would start building houses on it. We aren’t there yet and his sons are farming so I hope it stays farmland for awhile yet as I can’t afford to buy them out right now either! I do believe things work out the way they do for a reason. I love reading your posts. I love your honesty through awesome things and struggles! Enjoy that hammock!
Kit- I thought that first photo of the guest room was from the Bates Motel. Glad you are giving that room some TLC – I will pass out there if we do a Fernet night.
Too bad you didn’t get to expand your little piece of heaven. But I do have an idea for some of your honey. I just sampled a bit of blackberry mead I started back in January. It was excellent! If I can believe all I read, it is supposed to get better with time. If you aren’t aware, mead is basically wine made with honey instead of sugar. It doesn’t sound like you need another hobby, but wine making is pretty easy. I am also sure you can find a local wine hobbyist who would be happy to trade finished wine for honey and fresh produce. I know you like wine, so give some homemade mead a try. Think how nice it would be to sip a glass of wine made from the fruits of your farm as you kick up your feet and watch the sun set. Just a thought.
Always find the positive! Doesn’t make the sad things great, just puts them in perspective! You do this well! If you do the mead thing, I’ll buy a bottle!
I am way more excited than I probably should be about the idea of Sarah visiting you! Two of my favorite bloggers on the same awesome farm? I’m hoping for some wonderfully drunk videos and tons of pics!
When do we get to see the TV show? Loved the other video of the closet door you made – can’t wait to see the table edition.
Just found myself with 60 acres of land about 225 miles away from where I live – designated timberland. Since it’s inherited family land can’t sell it, so look forward to many many years of paying taxes on my “inheritance.” Sometimes not getting something can be a blessing in disguise! I think the first crop of trees will be mature enough to harvest in 20 YEARS! Whoopee! Fuck! Shit! and all those good words!!
Kit,
Things really do happen for a reason and it sounds like, for the moment, you’re where you need to be. There will probably come a day when you get the opportunity again, in the meantime I see you making the most of every day and everything you currently have. Re-focusing your energy will certainly make a dent in your “to do list” :>)
I’m sorry you didn’t get the property you were looking at, but I so admire the way you just move on to the next project!
I wouldn’t dare leave the cutting in for last when I paint or the cutting in would get done when all the switch and plug covers get put back on – never.
OMG Sarah is coming! That is so super awesome!!! *happy squeak*
Kismet – or Kitmet 🙂
Rock on.
I am a new reader and I have to let you know I appreciate how personal and honest your blog is! My advice is that you hold your head up through the bad times and you will find a silver lining soon enough. You will find another piece of land or a better project for the money! Also, I am super excited to see what you do with the honey. Feel free to share 🙂
-Vicki
Bummer about not getting the additional land! But I’m totally looking forward to reading about the other projects and shenanigans that you’ll now have time for! 🙂
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