Not the kind of girl your mom wants you to bring home for supper.

What does it mean, being a girl while simultaneously being a powertool wielding badass?

I can tell you this. Being a girl will often mean that people will tell you that you can’t do things. Sometimes it’s a straightforward telling and sometimes it’s more subtle. A look. A snort. A “what exactly are you doing again?” Of course, being a powertool wielding badass means you won’t ever believe those people. It means that if a fifty year old man and his router can do it, you can do it… even if you have to say a little prayer first.

I’m good at being a hybrid between man-who-can-build-things and woman-who-can-walk-in-heels, but the honest to god truth is that I am not a “good woman.” I’m missing whatever gene it is that drives females to compulsively clean dishes, do laundry, or — mother of god– vacuum.

Do you know how many variations of the “f” word I edit out of my posts after I reread them? Good Lord, Lillian Eichler would drop into a dead faint.

There can be nothing more characteristic of good breeding than a soft, well modulated, pleasing voice… It is not well-bred to be demonstrative in action while speaking, to talk loudly, or to laugh boisterously.  Conversation should have less emphasis, and more quietness, more dignified calmness.

Let’s be honest. I’m not exactly the kind of girl a mother dreams about  her son bringing home one day. No offense to myself of course, I don’t think a man could do better than to find a woman who brings her own tools into the relationship. But no mom ever says to herself “I hope Johnny finds himself a girl that knows how to fix a leaky faucet and dreams of one day building her own home from the ground up.”

I’ve always been pretty confident in who I am. In 1999 I was the only female in my state to receive a nomination to attend the United States Naval Academy. In 2001 I earned a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and won three medals at the ATA World Championship Tournament. In 2003, at 22 years old, I became the general manager of a manufacturing plant. In 2004, as a single woman supporting herself, I decided to buy my own home.

Being a woman means that there are times, despite a long list of impressive accomplishments, that I feel guilty about not being a better woman. But, being a powertool wielding badass means that I know exactly how to use a sledge-hammer to pound that whiney-bitch who lives inside of me back into submission when she tries to guilt-trip me into dusting on a regular basis.

Give me a break lady, I have projects to work on.

6 Responses

  1. B.I.T.C.H- Babe In Total Control Of Herself

    You go girl!

    Do you know how many times I haven’t edited the “f” word out of my blog?? lol

  2. Brava! I’m not sure there’s a cleaning or vacuuming gene. I certainly don’t have them or the baking gene. But while I’m terrified of power tools I completely celebrate your confidence and sense of empowerment. And good for you for buying your own home at your age! You have an amazing future.

  3. I love this post! I’m much the same way. Whenever I mention my dreams of building myself a Tiny House and driving it around the country, I think my mother in law dies a little inside.

Comments are closed.

I'm not interested in a mediocre life. I'm here to kick ass or die.