MysteryMan and I spent hours in the bookstore this weekend, pouring over books about floorplans and landscaping and 1001 Reasons Why You’re Crazy To Build Your Own Addition, when I stumbled upon this little gem.
‘8167 Useful Skills and Step-by-Step Instructions’ on everything you need to know to live off the land, from fabricating natural milk soap to breeding livestock.
Every time I open this book I find one more thing I absolutely needed to know. For example, just ninety seconds ago I found a section on building homebrew equipment and making homemade wine. Um, seriously? This author knew ex-actly what it would take for me to successfully survive in the country where supposedly I’m not even allowed to have a disposal in my sink.
However, I’ve already learned some very useful factoids, like, for example, garlic should be braided unwashed and straight from the ground, run-in horse (or donkey!) shelters should open to the South, and the best time to plant corn is when new Oak leaves are the size of squirrels ears. Any page that has to do with butchering little animals and not loving them and kissing their cute little animal faces are summarily dismissed. Butchering does not occur in my version of the country. Miniature donkeys occur and that is all, capice?
I don’t care how far into the depths of country living I descend, all meat in my household will come in tidy little plastic packages. And if MysteryMan didn’t cook such a damn good steak, I’d go back to being a vegetarian.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go learn more about making a respiratory relief tincture.