I know that everyone has been waiting on the edge of their seats to watch a badly shot, fifteen minute iPhone video of me rambling on (with my awesome Midwestern accent) behind the camera as I give you the grand tour of the Liberty House. And let me tell you something… this evening I came thisclose to not having the heart to show you this thing because a serious bank fuckup–sorry mom, but there’s no other word–came to light today that at best should have cost me another $2000, and at worst could have cost me the entire house.
Right? And that 3AM champagne hangover would have been for nothing.
Here’s the good news: I just ate what I am pretty sure is the best grilled cheese ever invented– thanks to Chris at Zingerman’s Roadhouse, who not only suggested a to-die-for cheese combination, but who also apparently has a gift for making glasses of chocolate awesomeness magically appear at the exact right moment in a person’s life. For me that moment was about fifteen minutes ago, and I now feel fortified with enough cheese and sugar to get on with things.
Also, the issues with the house have been mostly resolved, although the bank and appraiser have now tortured me to the point that I can’t stop ducking and looking behind me every once in a while as if someone might come up and try to snatch the house away from me again. I think we’re safe now, but if not, I do own a shotgun.
And really, if we’re going to close out the last week of the Liberty House drama, we might as well do it with a video that includes:
- An appearance of what may or my not be the Liberty House ghost
- Me, losing my shit, on said ghost
- At least one reason while I’ll never be a weather man
- A really bad rendition of the Psycho shower scene
- Proof that there are some levels of disgusting (dealing with toilets on carpet) that can only be articulated with sounds that mimic a dying cow
Really, guys. You don’t want to miss this:
(Also, even though I do it on camera I’ll apologize again for my really horrible camera skills, the jumpy video editing– this video actually makes me so motion sick that I couldn’t watch it to edit better–and the low picture quality. Apparently when your house tour is as long as a sitcom, you have to compress the shit out of it to put it on the internet. But you get the gist.)
For those of you who– like me– can’t watch shaky videos without losing your dinner, I’ll post a photo-tour next week.