Impossible Things (In Progress)

Just to give you an idea of how my week is going: This morning I did something strange and actually decided to eat breakfast. I drizzled honey on some homemade sourdough toast and proceeded to eat it while getting ready for my actual day job for which I make a small effort to look like an actual human. Apparently I dripped a little honey on one of my makeup brushes (yes, I own makeup brushes, don’t look so surprised) and didn’t realize this until I was putting on eyeshadow and my lids started feeling a little… stuck.

That’s right, you’re dealing with a person who glued her eyeballs open with honey before eight AM this morning.

I also managed to kill my internet and accidentally zip-tie my hands together in the last 24 hours, because… I don’t even know. It’s better not to ponder these things too deeply.

Some weeks it is impossible to do things right, and instead of dwelling on it, I felt compelled to do this…


Basically when my life is a shit-show, I deal with it by drawing on things with sharpie markers. (See also: my bathroom wall.)

The cat deals with it by “helping.”


I’ve only got about half the 18×24 sheet covered with my impossible things…


Some of you joined in the fun on Facebook last night, but I’ve still got some space to fill, so I’ll make you a deal… Give me some good “impossible things” to add to the list, and when this is finished I’ll scan it and post it here so any of you who would like a copy can download and print one yourself if you like.

I mean, I’m not a great illustrator, there are probably misspellings, and a not-insignificant amount of alcohol was consumed during the making of this project (by the cat, obviously.)

So it’s not exactly a stunning work of art (the original inspiration of Things That are Awesome from Pinterest is though, so you might want to check that out) but it is fun, which is mostly what counts around here. Especially for those weeks when the simplest things are feeling a little impossible.


58 Responses

  1. Love it!! My black cat is just as helpful. Also ‘she’ drinks gin and not beer when things get rough.

    🙂 Sending rainbows and non-sticky make-up brushes!

  2. All of my socks are paired, it makes getting ready in the morning faster when I’m running late, so I take the time when I do the laundry, a dull task but it gives my life more order.

    In my disordered life it is impossible to have a room without a book, and it might be impossible for them to stay on shelves. The stack by my bed is getting out of hand.

    On a more serious suggestion a world without gravity would be impossible.

  3. No weeds to pull, grass to green, to many hours in the day, no dust , floors to clean. Hope this helps. 🙂

  4. knowing where the tape measure is
    finding a pencil at the right time
    a big enough bottle of whiskey
    letting the dog out often enough

    When my life is a shit show I go on photo-walks, so yeah, this seems totally normal to me.

  5. •Bad cheese
    •disappointing lazy mornings in bed
    •smart/interesting/brainy reality tv-shows
    •”diet” ice-cream (wouldn’t it be nice , though?)
    •feeling mad while petting a monkey (probably works with donkey too!)
    •Really good and tasty “gluten free” bread
    (did the bread and cheese remark hint that i’m french?)
    •to choose the right cashier line (i always get the old lady who forgot something, or decides to get the store card, etc…)

    hope that helps!
    Great idea! dang, you’re so creative, it almost seems unfair for the rest of the population!

  6. Tonic without gin
    A good kiss without butterflies
    Finding your phone charger where you thought you left it
    Bad pizza

  7. How about this one: No Laundry. It’s literally impossible because even if you wash all the clothes in the house, you still have the clothes you’re wearing (unless you do laundry naked, I guess).

    P.S. I’m a new reader and I love this blog.

    1. Laundry was the first thing that came to mind for me! I also endorse bad cheese and changing to the “fast” lane. Hmmm… now to come up with a new suggestion. How about it’s impossible to ever have enough hours in the day?

  8. enough dollars to go with the project list, as well as a project that comes off without a single hitch…

    a list that gets completed!

  9. Awesome list! I love it!

    ~Quiet chewing gum…it needs to be smacked and bubbled and snapped
    ~Unpopped bubble wrap
    ~Bad day at the beach
    ~Uncomfortable flip flops
    ~Comfortable underwire
    ~Too many photos
    ~Making up my mind

    I could probably keep going, but I need to get to work. I can’t wait to see the finished product!

  10. Somber donkeys that stand still, finished fences/painting/projects. and a shorter commute.

    Love your blog – you are so talented!

  11. Finished yard work
    A completely clean house

    P.S. First time commenting, but I’ve been reading your blog for about a year. Reading your blog has motivated me to tackle some of the more complicated projects around my fixer-upper of a house.

  12. + Footnotes being too detailed
    + A library without coffee
    + A mug without coffee (What IS a mug without coffee inside it? I’d venture to say it is probably a bathtub, or a house for crickets. Clearly, without coffee it is not a mug.)
    + Fall without sweaters
    + Crisp, cool wind without happiness
    + A horizon without possibility

  13. Enough Harry Potter (c’mon, JKR: give us a super sweet prequel or the Adventures of Albus Severus or something)

    A burger without cheese

  14. Hay with no loft, barn without doors, life without a farm, time which is an impossible 4 letter word in itself and haunts me every day. And of course its impossible to ever find the words to describe how much I wish I had the time and words to describe what my farm and all its 2 and 4 legged residents contribute to my life on a daily basis. Which brings me to the impossibility of both my work gloves ending up in the same place at the same time.

  15. Impossible Things:

    NOT petting puppies
    Frowning at laughing babies
    NOT looking at things other people have made
    NOT being inspired by others
    NOT watching any animal play
    NOT checking out new tools or gadgets

  16. Thunderstorms without lightning
    An egg without a hen (still doesn’t solve the “which came first” dilemma though…)

  17. *An empty cat litter – one of my cats always uses it right after I get done cleaning it out. Never fails.
    *Too many puppy and kitty cuddles 🙂
    *Too many days at the beach – I could totally go every day!

  18. A garden without weeds is my impossible thing at the moment. Suggested serving size is also pretty impossible too! Love your blog, wish you were inAustralia so I could set you up with my bro, whose tool collection and sense of humour could rival yours 🙂

  19. Serious chickens made me laugh. 🙂

    A sad giggle.
    A morning without coffee.
    All the socks matching after a load of laundry.

    That’s all I’ve got at the moment! Love this project!

  20. This is awesome! The book one is my favorite. Really looking forward to seeing the finished product!

  21. thought of more…

    + jeans that are too worn out to wear (who cares! let the buttcheeks be free!)
    + crickets that are quiet indoors
    + unmagical lightning bugs
    + eyelashes that are too short
    + a bathtub that is too big
    + too many vacation days
    + pancakes without syrup

  22. I love this so much and I am definitely going to print this when you are done! LOVE.

    I couldn’t think of any good ones but I tried my best…

    – a boring zebra
    – frowning at a laughing baby
    – watching all the movies you want to watch
    – too much coffee
    – too much wine

    And yep you’re a bona fide artist. I said it so it must be true.

  23. Reminds me of a country song called “Too much fun”. I think that “being too lucky, a car too fast” might fit (or be modifiable), but aside from the song, here’s my thoughts:
    -Unwise Grandpas
    -Too many friends
    -Too much fresh air
    -Being told “I love you” too often
    -Too much time off

  24. After my dog and I spent an hour chasing 3 calves across the entire property I will add…

    And I repeat, both work gloves same place at same time!
    Fencing pliers that actually cut wire!
    Calves or any farm animal staying where its told!
    Fences that don’t break, stretch or at least stay put!
    Animals not hell bent on breaking said fence!
    Anyone but me and the dog around when it happens!
    Did I mention impossible to stay mad at calves!

    Don’t get me started on the donkeys and chickens. They reached my sh#t list yesterday!

  25. To start a project and have the materials go on sale simultaneously.
    (BTW: TSC has steel posts and fencing on sale in a couple more days – out here, anyway).

  26. * A puppy that isn’t hungry
    * Never missing your train
    * Time enough before the dawn
    * Too many tomatoes
    * A too-long hug

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