The Kiterpillar (Yeah, that’s a real thing.)

If it’s not quite Monday yet when you’re reading this, it’s close enough. And, while there are a lot of things I could say about this not-exactly-a-vacation week– not all of them good– I feel like every Monday should start off with Awesomeness, and not someone bitching about sod-removal, so, on this particular Monday, I give you this…


The Kiterpillar. (Kind of like Caterpillar, but, uh, with more beer involved.)

I just. Can’t. Even.

I am without words.

I’m not really 100% sure what happened leading up to this, but what I think happened was that the guy I’m dating asked me if I wanted his old, broken golf cart and I was like, “Um, thanks but no thanks? I’ve got way too much broken shit on this farm already.” So he decided to fix the golf cart and then give it to me as a birthday present.

He actually brought it over looking like this…


And then, because he knows me, painted it caution-yellow…

And then he had custom decals made. Because… of course he did.


Also, at some point in this process he asked me what I would like the seats recovered in. I thought something durable would be good. You know, something we could hose down when necessary.

Aaaand a week later he showed up with a couple of cow hides. Because, as he says, “Cows get rained on all of the time… these are totally weatherproof.”


Okay then. How do you argue with that?

You don’t.

And you’ve got to be grateful for a guy who thought up the Kiterpillar, made it a real thing, and then gave it to me for my birthday. Especially  because even though I was like, “No, no, don’t bother with this thing” he knew how much fun I would have with it, and did it anyway…


The first time I drove this down my dirt road I was like, “THIS IS THE BEST THING EVAAAARRRR!” I don’t know why it’s so much fun, but it is.

My mom and I took it down to the lake that’s a half-mile from my house this weekend…

I mean… how could you not have a blast in this thing? Even the donkeys like it…


Listen. There’s this thing that happens on the Internet (and in life) where we kind of like to portray our lives and relationships as being perfect. So let me just be clear… mine aren’t. Most aspects of my life are generally just hanging in there by a threat. (Please don’t ask about the state of my dishes.) I’m dating an awesome dude, and I’m grateful for him, but it doesn’t mean we don’t fight (I still maintain I could beat him in a wrestling match if necessary… even if he was in the Marines), it doesn’t mean I’m not frustrated sometimes, or that he hasn’t threatened to take a hammer to my stubbornness on occasion. And that’s okay.

So, yeah, I’m bragging about him (and the Kiterpillar) a little, but I also want you to know that we’re not perfect. Neither of us is looking for (or living) a fairy tale. But we laugh a lot, challenge each other, and feel like a really good match. And now I have to figure out how to one-up him on the Kiterpillar before his birthday in a few months. Suggestions?

21 Responses

  1. Wow Kit!!

    Disclaimer notwithstanding, WOW KIT!!

    Great pictures of you two AND the glorious yellow beast. That is all kinds of awesome and thoughtfulness. Darn him. We will TOTALLY have to find a way for you to out-do this for his birthday.

    Absolutely beaming with joy just THINKING about this!!

  2. This makes me so happy.

    Take him to Harry Potter’s castle in Orlando. That is the only fitting reward.

  3. What a great present!

    Excellent post, particularly your closing words.

    I think a lot of people expect their life to be a fairy tale and some get depressed when life doesn’t measure up to this expectation.

    Some people even ruin a good life searching for a perfect life!

    Your posts are always grounded, so although I’m occasionally jealous of your farm I also know it’s no picnic 🙂

    It seems like you’re in a great place at the moment and seem to appreciate both the privilege and the fact that staying there will require effort.

    Good luck to you and “The Beard” (reminds me of 🙂 )


  4. This post is loaded with kewl-ness sprinkled with… a rocking idea from FBG also showing us some of his many creative talents as well as… The Kitterpiller ROCKS! I especially like his touch of adding the registered trade mark symbol at the end of the name in front ~ the seat is quite comfy and makes it all come together and fit well at the Black Feather Farm.

  5. Fuckin’ Fantastic!

    Glad to see you’re having some first rate fun.

    Fighting is good – gotta learn how to do it well because it’s inevitable.

  6. Seriously brought a smile to my face. That golf cart is the best idea. Good luck coming up with something as cool for his birthday. Also, thanks for the distraction – I’m literally reading this while in labor. Lol that’s a first.

  7. I love the kiterpillar!!! What a fantastic birthday present. Hopefully you got a lot done last week and now your new toy will make some things even easier.

  8. So here’s a grill for inspiration.
    Right! Holy Cow! I can just see the parties now! Throw in a picnic table with ice tray for beer and wine.
    Play multi dimensional twister.
    Cause yeah, that’ll be fun after some beer…please put up pictures…hehe
    And to top it all off, a not bake super easy ice cream sandwich cake
    Have fun!!!

  9. “Cows get rained on all of the time… these are totally weatherproof.” Man Answer of the Year! I totally hear my roommate saying this. I lol’ed in my cubicle.

  10. There is so much awesome here I don’t even know what to say. Other than, Happy Birthday, and three cheers for Fantastically Bearded Guy!

  11. I’m thinking a backhoe and he could store it at your place….although a nice outdoor kitchen at your place would be good too! Then he could cook for you. I hope you see where this is going……Happy Birthday!

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I'm not interested in a mediocre life. I'm here to kick ass or die.