Things You Get a Girl Who Lives on a Farm, Apparently

This year my friends and family were on point with their birthday gifts, especially since, when asked, I could not tell you one thing that I actually need on this farm (other than more hours in the day, and more days before planting season is done, obv.)

If you don’t know by now, this year I bought myself an orchard as my birthday present, but here’s what everyone else came up with…

My mom decided (probably after this post) that what I really needed in life was another way to set things on fire:


When she gave it to me I was like, is this a torch for burning weeds in my garden? And she was like, yeah, or starting bonfires.

I actually don’t disagree with this in theory… In practice, however… let’s just say after the last bonfire I had on the farm–by myself on a friday night–I may or may not have woken up with a lighter under my pillow the next morning.


So. Maybe we’ll stick to torching garden weeds…

Also, a hatchet:


If you’ve been around here a long, long time you know that nine years ago my mom officially earned the title of “my badass hatchet-wielding mother” back when we did this. (And, holy shit that was a long time ago… back when I used to buzz my hair, before I could legitimately operate a tractor, and when installing 60 lf of fence was a big fucking deal. For reference, two summers ago my mom and I installed something like 350 lf of fence around the pasture, so… we’re still fence installation rockstars.) Anyway, Mom said she thought I needed a hatchet for my car… just in case.

She’s probably right about that, actually.

She also found this tiny little toad-house that is perfect for my garden…


AND some really fancy organic cotton sheets…


Because a girl can never have enough line-dried sheets in her life, right?


I also got a lot of chocolate, wine, and fancy beer…



And, because I mentioned I couldn’t find Roma tomato plants anywhere…


A couple of seedlings.

But probably the most oddly appropriate gift came from the friend I’ve known the longest in the world (since I was 3 months old, to be exact.) She started texting me a week before my birthday, telling me that she got me the BEST PRESENT EVER. So I was suitably prepared when I unwrapped this…


YOU GUYS. There is now a selfie stick on the farm. I’m basically a Kardashian…


The donkeys, on the other hand, are not sure whether or not to try and eat this thing…


But, as I informed Doc during this process, they definitely do not know how to properly use the selfie stick.



Donkeys. So not hip.

Chickens, on the other hand…


Totally get it, right Nug?


She’s a pro.

And, just for fun… Orchard Selfie:


And Ready-to-run-if-the-bees-don’t-like-selfies Selfie:


Yeah. Definitely needed one of these on the farm.

I really don’t like to make a big deal out of birthdays, but I feel like it’s important to acknowledge how grateful I am for all the people who thought of me, came out to help on the farm, baked me cakes (there were four of them), came out to spend time with me (even though I was soaking wet and wearing my pajamas around the house all night) and helped me celebrate another trip around the sun. It’s been a good one.

21 Responses

  1. Just about fell out of my chair over your “clothes pins”. Looks like how I would do it.

    Just love it and happy birthday!

    1. Me too! Most awesome thing I have seen in months! I literally was almost ROFL.

  2. Sounds like an awesome birthday by any standards. Happy another year on this big dirtball! 🙂

  3. I really think Doc did a pretty good job. 🙂 I just love your animals. Hope you had a very Happy Birthday!

  4. My hubs and I have been following your blog for several years now, and are currently building a home on 120 acres of farmland after living in the city, our whole lives. Our whole family is excited to start our adventure, and the hubs and I use your blog for ideas and inspiration. However my hubs was ever so pleased to see your “clothes pins” on the line. Finding new uses for existing equipment is a bit of a hobby for my Engineer hubs, so he heartily approved! Can’t wait to hear how the weed flaming goes! Fathers Day is coming up, and that may be a good gift option!

  5. Happy belated, Kit. All of your b-day gifts are cool.

    Couldja please let us know if a toad actually takes up residence in the little house? BTW – I named my house “Sleeping Toad Cottage” and created a logo for it too.

  6. NOTHING beats line-dried sheets!!! And NOTHING beats your “clothes-clamps”!! They ….. are …. awesome! And my garden frogs (toads?) also have a tiny bit of toad-house envy. I’ll need to find them one or two. Happy Birthday! Thank you for the grins, giggles and useful diy tips!

  7. Didja know bees have quite a few predators? I have found both a big toad and a big lizard out there eating my bees. I need to raise them higher off the ground. Skunks get after ’em also, but we don’t have too many of those around our parts.

  8. Happy Belated Birthday!! It sure looks like you had a wonderful day!! The clothes clamps are awesome, but I may or may not have to send you some clothespins and a farm-appropriate bag for them.

  9. That flame weeder is the best Valentine’s Day present I ever received. Frankly, it is a fairly inefficient way of dealing with weeds, but it is so gratifying that I don’t care.

  10. Is your corn actually that high (behind the clothes lines)? Seems like you just planted it!

    1. Oh, no… that’s an old pic of the clothesline that I pulled for illustration purposes. I planted far less corn than that, and it’s still tiny! 😉

  11. selfie stick ftw! and laundry clamps, of course.
    i hope a toad takes up residence in the toad house. that is too adorable! happy birthday! love all the selfies – the ready-to-run-if-the-bees-don’t-like-selfies Selfie is my favorite.

  12. I was laughing through the entire post. I actually work with a girl who moved to a small farm outside of town and I can just imagine her family giving her some of these types of gifts.

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