The Pergola Countdown Begins

It’s the nicest day of the year so far & I’m yearning for my back porch and pergola to be finished… or even started. I told Papa (my grandpa, as opposed to PapaRick –or Ricardo– my father) I was getting ready to tear out the 16″ high concrete slab that is currently the sum total of my back porch, and he promised to come over with the tractor to help with demolition. My Papa is the master of all things relation to tractors or demolition. This is him demolishing a hideous awning that was on the back of my house when I bought it. (Incidentally, that is my grandmother proping him up.) I really lucked out in the grandparent department.  

Papa on stool

Papa still gets nervous when I tell him I use power tools. He’s from the old school that believes  women + machinery = certain death or loss of limb. Nevermind that he’s 75 and balancing on a kitchen stool to tear down an awning, right? My family is awesome 🙂

Anyway, about the pergola. Demo and reconstruction is scheduled for the weekend after Easter, when, knowing my luck, it will probably rain. Love spring. So I am going to take a sledge hammer to this bad boy soon:

Back of house- from yard

I’m choosing the “sledge hammer” method of demolishion because a.) I already own a sledge hammer and b.) whenever I ask some one if they think I can tear that out with a sledge hammer they look at me and say “eh, maybe you could get a guy to help you.” Huh. No faith, people. I may be 5’3″ and a buck-twenty, but I am still a badass with a sledge hammer, okay?  

As you can see, the rest of my sand box back yard needs a lot of work as well. The same time the pergola goes up, I’ll be installing a 4′ privacy fence around the rest of it.

Back Yard

The big red totem pole was left up when we tore the old pergola down–thanks Papa– which was, incidently, 4′ 6″ high so that even I couldn’t stand up straight under it. Ridiculous. We were trying to save the mature wisteria vine that was climbing all over it for the new pergola. The vine is still alive, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to transplant it 4 feet over where the new pergola will be. It ain’t lookin’ so good.  

There’s actually not so much “plants” back there as jungle. It’s kind of hard to tell from this pic. That vine, or whatever it is covering the back fence is ridiculous, and had taken over the last six feet of the yard back to the fence. It took me a rake, a shovel, a small pair of snips I’ve converted to pruning shears, and an hour to even put a dent in the mess– when what I really needed was a machete.

I also have those “hedges” on the right, which apparently were never trimmed for the last decade, and are now twenty feet tall and scraggly. They do provide some cover from the neighbors that are kitty-corner to my backyard though. That pine tree needs a little help also. Not to mention my whole grass situation.

I’m finding that the yard is actually bigger than it looks. Especially when I have to clear everything out of there by hand. lol. Isn’t that always the way?

I have a vision though, and see no reason why I cant turn that ^ to this:

Back Yard-photoshoped

If only it were as easy a photoshopping, right?

JUMP TO PART II of The Pergola Saga- Wheelbarrow, Sledgehammer, & High Heels

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I'm not interested in a mediocre life. I'm here to kick ass or die.