This is like something you do in 8th grade shop class, but since it only took leftover recycling cabinet materials and an hour, who’s complaining?
The project started with 51″ of scrap pine:
Followed by 8 cuts:
And my new favorite method of joinery, aka Glue-and-Screw. Um. Nevermind. (Oh my god, what kind of google search terms are going to get people directed here related to that?!)
More glue, more screws….
And voila! I even countersunk the screws and plugged them.
So, what the hell is this, you ask? Before I answer you, let me relate to you a phone conversation MysteryMan and I had around 9:30 PM on Friday night. It went something like this:
ME: Yeah I was si…. whoa, wait a minute some huge bird just flew by my window.
MysteryMan: What are you talking about?
ME: [With my nose pressed against the front window] Oh my god what is that?! BATS! I think I have a flock of bats in my front yard!
MysteryMan: Um…. have you been drinking?
ME: What? No. Wait… they keep landing on the trees. They keep going from tree to tree! OH. MY. GOD. They’re flying squirrels! I HAVE FLYING SQUIRRELS IN MY TREES. [Hysterical laughing.]
MysteryMan: What kind of drugs are you on? There are not flying squirrels in your trees.
ME: Yes huh! I swear, they keep flying from one tree to the next and then running up them. I can see their little tails, they look like chipmunks. Haven’t you ever heard of a flying squirrel before?
MysteryMan: Yeah. I’ve heard of them, but nowhere in Ohio.
ME: Well, I don’t know, maybe they escaped from the zoo.
MysteryMan: Maybe you escaped from the zoo…
First of all, I’d just like to say again Yes huh! There are too flying squirrels in Ohio! I totally looked it up. And I kid you not there were two or three of them throwing a party in my front trees Friday night. It happened to be snowing and was one of those weird nights were the light was reflecting off the snow and the sky was really light, which is probably the only reason I was able to see them at all. And seeing as how the little buggers are nocturnal, they could have been living in my trees for god knows how long.
However, I don’t think that is the case, because the whole reason I happened to be looking at that window when one flew (or glided) by was because my cats were both sitting on the windowsill leaving little nose prints on the glass. And that is not normal behavior for them after dark. If I had regular visitations from flying squirrels, I think they would know it.
Regardless, my little 1 hour mystery project? You guessed it:
FLYING SQUIRREL FEEDER
(Ignore my neighbors with the ridiculous star on their door. That is all the rage in the neighborhood lately, I kid you not. On my street alone there is probably half-a-dozen.)
Apparently you’re supposed to set some sunflower seeds out around dusk, however despite my nightly feeding attempts, I haven’t seen them since… and MysteryMan has taken to calling them “my little imaginary friends.”
Well, at any rate the regular squirrels are getting fat off of all the seeds they have for breakfast now, so the feeder is still getting some use. And it was a fair enough use for some scrap material anyway.