Things I Learned About Myself While Cleaning My Workshop

We have potential buyers coming in to look at the house, all the way from my old stomping grounds in Florida. Next week.

Maybe I haven’t been clear about the utter chaos I’m living in right at the moment, what with donkey barns to build, gas station bathrooms to tile, houseplans to finish, and hair to brush. Eh, I thought I’d throw that last one in there, even though I have zero time to be worrying about superfluous personal hygiene at the moment. (Don’t worry, we’re still making time for regular showering around here.)

Hey look! You’ve already learned more about me than you bargained for. This post is going to be fun.

The truth is that most of the house is looking in top shape, but there was one room that has been neglected in the whole clean-up-the-house-so-potential-buyers-can-look-at-it-without-fear-of-something-jumping-out-of-the-chaos-and-eating-them scramble. Oh, you guessed it… the place where the tools live.

I finally tackled it this weekend (with the help of my badass hatchet wielding mother, who is equally skilled at wielding a shopvac) and here is what I learned…

I have an inordinate amount of plastic tool cases with nothing in them and no idea what tool they came with. And yet, I just can’t throw them away…

I obsessively save jars and large tin cans…

Related: I eat a lot of pickles.

Apparently I have purchased 30 picture hangars and other assorted anchors for every one picture hung on the walls. This amounts to three gallons worth of miscellaneous fasteners. (Thank you, extra large Ziploc bag, for that bit of fun trivia.)

Related: Contrary to photographic evidence, I do not drink an inordinate amount of vodka.

Okay. I’ve been known to have a bloody mary on the beach…


But actually the vodka box is just because pssst, liquor stores have the best boxes for packing heavy things in… And if you’re as cute as my mom, they give them away to you for free.

My priorities became ultra-clear when I realized that after 5 years I have no idea where the user manual for my dishwasher is, but I’ll be dammed if I don’t still have the one for my tile saw…

And speaking of saws, apparently I compulsively buy jigsaw blades any time I come within 100 feet of Lowe’s. Do you know how often I change blades on my jigsaw? Maybe once every six months.

And three and a half years worth of jigsaw blades later…

I think maybe I need some more pliers. Or another screw driver.

You know… just in case.

5 Responses

  1. My husband and I have been renovating our house for the past 5 years, and this post could have come straight out of our house. Glad that we are not alone in our endeavors.

  2. Having dogs my full life, now specially as an adult, I can honestly say that the unconditional love of our dogs is one of the greatest delights of our lifestyles every single day. Their love, phrase, smooches and emotion is beautiful on a scale you have to experience to recognise. People can study a lot via dogs. They’re a treasure.

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