Alternatively titled: Wherein a large portion of my house was threatens to fall down and now I need a drink.
How’s your Friday going?
In our little corner of Michigan we have a wind advisory for sustained winds of 30 MPH and wind gusts of 45-50 MPH. I decided to work from home today for reasons completely unrelated to the wind or sanity– I suspect smart thing to do in 50MPH winds is probably not to hole up in a 80 year old, structurally un-sound garage. But here we are.
And I’m not entirely sure what prompted me to look out the garage windows and stare at the front porch for a while after that, but thank god I did, because after 3 minutes of staring I realized that I wasn’t seeing an optical illusion and one of the temporary porch supports was, in fact, blowing in the wind.
I tried to give it a half-ass push back onto the foundation– to no avail– and then indulged in 15 seconds of panic since no one was unavailable to come help with this little problem.
And then I was like, um hello? Have I not accomplished much harder things that lifting the porch roof 1/8″ up so I can get the support back in place? Okay, actually, maybe not. But listen, if there’s one thing I know it is that almost every problem can be fixed with a hammer. And some leverage.
First, I planted my feet and tried to lift the support back up into place using nothing but my legs and a prayer…I’m not sure that I’ve ever exerted that much upward force on an object ever in my life. I think I felt blood vessels in my eyeballs start to pop. And, the damn thing didn’t move even a little.
Then I decided to try using my brain a little. And a hammer.
I put this board in place and hit the bottom of it with a hammer until it had raised the support the necessary amount. (I probably hit the board over 150 times with all my strength to get it there.)
Then more hammering to get it on to the foundation.
Good news: The house did not fall down.