We had a singularly uneventful Wednesday right up until I learned 1.) We have bugs in our water, and 2.) J.Lo and I have now slept in the same bed.
Yeah, go ahead and ponder that little mystery of the universe for a minute.
You might notice that just about every minute of our days are crammed full of house stuff, work stuff, or getting from one place to the other, which is only possible because we don’t do any of the normal things like cook dinner, do laundry, clean, or take bathroom breaks. (Just kidding on that last one. Mostly.)
Since I do not have two extra hours a week to spend hanging at the laundromat, I’ve got at least one chore down to a science.
How To Do Laundry With 15 Minutes and 4 Bucks
Step 1.) Put laundry, soap, and $4.00 in quarters in the car before you leave for work
Step 2.) Drive to local laundromat at lunch, put clothes in washer. Time: 5 minutes, Cost: $2.00
Step 3.) Squeeze in errands, a trip to the hardware store, or lunch with the nearest good-looking bearded guy.
Step 4.) On your way back to the office, stop by laundromat, switch laundry to dryer, put in enough quarters for a hour of dry time just to make sure your dude’s jeans fit nice and tight when he puts them on. Time: 5 minutes, Cost: $2.00
If you have any unmentionables that can’t go in the dryer, hang them from the utility hooks in the back of your SUV, then crack the windows when driving back to work. You might get funny looks, but it works. Time: 2 minutes, Cost: Free
Step 5.) On your way home from work at the end of the day, pick up your clean clothes.
I might have this down so well that we don’t even need a washer and dryer.
Bugs, Bugs, Everywhere
So you know how my afternoon went. As soon as I got home with my freshly laundered clothes MysteryMan looks at me and says, “We have bugs.”
And I blink 17 times and start to feel a phantom tickle on my scalp. Is that a bug? What comes out of my mouth is, “explain, please.” And then I start itching my head. Arms. Back.
But no, no, not bed bugs, or spiders, or fleas. Our wonderful plumbers came over to install a new well tank and our water softener, and when we pulled out the existing water filter there were bugs in it. Little white shrimp-like bugs. In our water.
Oh my god I hate the country sometimes.
Our big plan to take care of this is to basically poison our own water supply with a gallon of bleach and then let the water run overnight. Good plan, right? Yeah, we think so too.
I Can Deal With Anything As Long As I Have A Beer
We’ve got a little framing to do here in the next couple of weeks, definitely an “after work” job, since the weekends are dedicated strictly to siding from now until the end of time.
I think it’s appropriate to end this post with the kind of nonsense I see from my ATT Wireless Card every night before I go to bed. 30 kb/s upload rate for four hours. Yet another joy of living in the garage.
I’m ready to finish this house just so I can have real internet again.