So far this week I’m averaging about four hours of sleep per night, and I don’t know if that’s because I’m having a little post-traumatic stress from the last three months, or if I’m just having too much fun tearing off wallpaper to go to bed at a decent hour…
What I know for sure is that 1.) the number of obscure scifi references I use in my posts is inversely proportional to the amount of sleep I get. As is the number of run on sentences I write. And 2.) when I’m laying in bed wide awake at 4AM I count house projects instead of sheep.
Once I get an idea in my head it takes all of my willpower not to jump right in and start working on it, so for the last few months I’ve been trying hard not to think too much about what other things I’d like to do to the the house. I just sort of averted my eyes from the entire interior the same way I stare at the ceiling when I’m walking down the cookie aisle at the grocery store. Because if I don’t the next thing I know I’m dipping an Oreo into peanut butter, deep frying it, and dunking it in chocolate syrup, just to see what a heart attack on a stick tastes like.
I’ve refrained from deep-frying any Oreos lately, but now that I’ve got free reign to start any number of projects I want on the house it’s kind of like someone plugged Pinterest directly into my brain and started a download. (“I can carry nearly eighty gigs of data in my head,” anyone?)
The question is where to start..
The master bathroom?
(Which is a complete demo and rebuild.)
Or the future office?
(Change the closet, add a built-in desk, install the hardwood floor.)
Or the worlds biggest hallway?
(Paint and stain the stairs, prime the newly wallpaperless walls, and paint everything else.)
Or maybe those built-ins I’ve considered for the downstairs bath?
You know, you know, in my head I’m going, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. I’ll take one of each, please.”
And then there’s the fact that I did something slightly unplanned and went an bought a few new appliances last weekend, and all of the sudden I’m also thinking it might be time to start some kitchen upgrades…
Nothing too crazy, just a little paint and maybe some new cabinet hardware to start. (Go ahead and laugh at the fact that I think it will stop there, because we all know that starting a room is like opening a can of Pringles, once you pop…)
But really, why wouldn’t I tear apart the one fully functional room in the house?
So this is the tipping point where things could really turn into a trainwreck of unfinished projects if I let it, but what I’m hoping for instead is “controlled chaos”, so here’s the plan.
1.) In the spirit of finishing things that I start, the rest of the wallpaper is coming off the upstairs hallway and those walls are getting primed and painted first.
2.) There are 4 gallons of paint currently taking up the passenger seat of my car, which means while the appliances are all being shuffled around anyway, I’m also going to tackle painting the kitchen cabinets and updating the hardware.
3.) Since I’ll be in there and high off paint fumes for a week or two anyway, the wood paneling is also going to get a coat of paint. (Or like 3 coats of primer and a coat of paint.)
4.) I WILL NOT start tearing up the floor in there. Probably.
5.) After all the kitchen painting, I’m going to take a time out from the VOCs for some exterior maintenance that needs to be done before winter. I expect to be at this point around the end of September.
6.) If I can make a final call on the barn color, I’m going to paint the new siding on the barn.
7.) I am not going to demo the master bath or tear the carpet off upstairs, even though I really want to.
8.) I’m going to start a series of cheap “quick wins” through the first floor of the house, which includes painting the tool room (and moving some of the tools to their new home… more on that later), painting the downstairs bath and adding a new mirror and light, painting the rest of the world’s biggest hallway, and finishing the paint and ceiling patches in the parlor. I may even go crazy and get a couch. Or do the super classy thing and just bring the lawn furniture inside.
9.) Then I’m going to tear out the carpet in the master bedroom and demo the master bath. Or finish off the office. Or maybe loop back around and take care of the kitchen floor. Clearly this step is a little fuzzy still.
What I know for sure is that I’m going to be covered in paint for the next two months, which– if I can keep up my recent pace– is how long I expect it to take me to get through the first 8 items on the list. And if someone wants to make an empty threat about having an appraiser come through to check my work, I may be able to get it done even sooner.
I told you the fun was just getting started…