So listen, this is what happens when you make a joke to half the Internet about only needing a guy around to wash your dishes…the universe will screw with you, and you will have to do unconventional and slightly awkward things to prove a point.
This might faze a more normal person, but my life is basically a string of unconventional and slightly awkward moments, so Universe? Joke is on you this time.
For example, last night I came home to a mystery package on my front porch that contained a light fixture that I only vaguely remember purchasing at 3 AM during one of my insomniac episodes. I can’t be totally sure, but I think I bought it to replace this bit of awesomeness in the little hallway between the mudroom and the kitchen…
Yes. That is basically a bare lightbulb surrounded by bits of mirror. Try not to be jealous.
I was pretty excited for that thing to no longer exist within a ten foot radius of my new fridge, so I set to taking it down and installing the new fixture. Well, right about the time I found myself on the stepladder with sweat dripping into my eyes as I tried to simultaneously hold the new fixture in place with my teeth and connect the wires, it occurred to me that this is the first light I’ve installed without, you know, another set of hands around.
Then, in one of those moments of clarity that come to you just before you’re going to do something that’s either completely brilliant, or completely stupid, I had an idea. See, the fixture was hanging at about chest height as I tried to connect the wires, so in my desperation I did what any rational female adult in my position would do… I wedged the light fixture down my shirt.
Yes. I did. Because I’m like MacGyver but with a slightly larger cup size.
Hey, it worked.
What didn’t work was a.) the white balance on that picture, and b.) the fact that I’m just over five feet tall and it’s possible to hit my head on that fixture.
So… turns out this light will be boldly going where no light fixture has gone before twice, once I figure out a new place for it. (It’s this light from Barn Light Electric, if you’re wondering.)
Moral of this post: Measure twice before you get boobsweat on your new light fixture. Or something like that.