First, MysteryMan stole back his camera for unknown purposes before I could get the baby miniature donkey pictures off of it… an now he insists on having a actual life that includes actually doing things and by the time I see him at 10PM I totally forget about re-stealing his camera back. Therefore you just have to wait to die from the absolute adorableness. 

Ah, the tangled web we weave.

On Aging

Before I begin with the proper miscellany, I just have to mention that I have completely gone insane. By insane I mean that I just was going to mention something about this being my birthday month and while my step-mom suggested getting me golfing lessons, I’m really hoping Ricky will spring for a palm router (since it’s not in my budget right now, but obviously I needone) … but before I could do any of that I forgot how old I was. Not kidding. I spent 45 seconds trying to figure out if I was going to be 28 or 27… I shit you not it seems like I have already been 27… but I opened the handy Windows Calculator and it turns out I was wrong. I’m definitely only 26. Twenty-six and suffering from senility apparently. I feel 42 if that counts for anything.

I’m not sure if I have ever shared this, but interestingly enough, MysteryMan and I share a zodiac sign, being born only 10 days apart. He calls me an old lady, since I was born first… however my due date was a day after his so I like to say that technically I’m younger, I just have more outside-of-the-womb life experience.

On with the non-womb related miscellany…

The Handyguys

I’ve been meaning to give them a shout-out for their DIY related podcasts, and to introduce them to any of you who aren’t already aware they exist, since they offer an interesting twist to DIY advice and are always available for questions. Weekly podcasts are posted every Thursday at 5 @ handyguyspodcast.com 

A Question About Wood (and Smells)

Have any of the rest of you out there who regularly work with wood (pine specifically) noticed that it smells different when you cut through a knot? It’s an almost turpentine-like smell. Every time I’m carving a broomstick I notice this and wonder why it is… and then by the time I get back to the computer I forget to look it up. Until today, at which point I thought I would find an interesting but easy answer without much trouble. Except I can’t find an explanation, and I can find nearly anything online.

The best educated guess I can make is that there are certain resins in wood knots that aren’t in the rest of the wood, and that these account for the different smell. But it could, in fact, have to do with little microscopic aliens that build wooden spaceships for all I know. Someone somewhere has to know the answer to this. Please share. There is nothing I hate worse than an unanswered question.

On My Genius (Relating Specifically to Naming Conventions)

Do you ever wonder why MysteryMan is called MysteryMan? Like most bloggers, I don’t go splashing anybodies legal name all over my website. There is really no specific reason for this, other than that it feels a little like poor blogging etiquette, and plus it’s kind of fun to have an internet alter ego. But I also am not a huge fan of initialing people. (For me, when reading other posts I find it difficult to remember what the initials stand for and who in the heck we’re talking about, much less to initial everyone Italk about regularly and use the proper initials consistently throughout my posts.) So I rename people on my blog, and I try to make those names as appropriate as possible.

For example, my Badass Hatchet-Wielding Mother seems obvious to someone who once saw here clear twice her body weight in brush from my back yard in an afternoon… using only a hatchet.

Mom and Hatchet Mom by pile of bushes

 As for MysteryMan, it takes pliers and the threat of bodily harm to get him to willingly disclose top-secret information such as what he would like to eat for dinner. Because obviously I would use that information to do terrible things to him like cook things he actually likes to eat.

You probably think I am exaggerating, but just prove that I am an internet alter-ego naming genius… earlier this week MysteryMan walked onto a jobsite and was introduced to the the foreman (who is completely unrelated to me and oblivious to the existence of this website.) And the foreman, who had some trouble reaching MM by phone earlier, responded to the introduction by saying “Ohhh… it’s the Mystery Man.”

The fact that MysteryMan told me this story proves that he actually does read this website, even though every time I say “I put such-and-such on my website” he’s all “What website? ” and then I roll my eyeballs all the way back into my head. Two can play at this game.

Because public humiliation is my new favorite thing.

I don’t want want to pull a James Frey here and have anyone dig into my nefarious past only to find out that I haven’t always been the powertool wielding badass that I am today… so I’m just going to be open and honest about the fact that there was a time in my life when, despite a complete lack of grace and/or coordination, I used to regularly dress up in head-to-toe sequined spandex. And dance. In front of a lot of people.

This time of my life was called “high school” and really don’t want to talk about it anymore. Ever.

Thank you mom, for forcibly reminding me of this time by sending me this picture in an email last night. Greatly appreciated.


Six Posts in One

See? I told you it was miscellany. I’ve had these things floating around in my head for a bit and they needed to be removed from my brain and stuck on to the computer. Rather than drag all of this out for six posts I thought I’d give it to you all in one shot. Like ripping off a bandaid, but with less gooey stuff left behind.

That is how I roll.

9 Responses

  1. Fun post. Made me smile.

    I was standing on the brick part of the porch columns yesterday barefoot (better for balance) caulking and thought of your barefoot post.

    Have a great weekend, Diva.

  2. holy crap! great post! and such a lovely picture of you (um, make use of fire…and make it snappy!)

  3. That so happened to me when I was 26!!!! And when I was 24. I THINK I’m 27 now… but I could be 28. I’ll have to check the calculator!~

    A cousin of my husband asked me at a family gathering how old I was… I confidently told him 27… 2 years ago. 🙂

  4. I can never remember how old I am, either. I’ve been watching 40 approach for a while, so that with each new birthday I think I am now 40. But nope, only 39 this year.

  5. I used to make fun of my dad for never remembering how old he was….and now I do the same thing. Sigh….

  6. Good call on the wood knots. You’ve got me, but I figured it has to do with moisture evaporation/retention/whatever causing a different smell in the wood.

  7. I’ve been reading your blog from the beginning since I discovered it a couple of weeks ago. I often shake my head, usually laugh, and always enjoy your antics, original humor, and general take of DIYing and life in general

    This DIY guy is hooked. Can’t wait to see what comes next!

    As for the turpentine smell when you cut through a knot, as you may have learned by now, it’s because the knot still includes sapwood where it originates, and is locked in the board ’til you cut through it.

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I'm not interested in a mediocre life. I'm here to kick ass or die.

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