No Such Thing As Too Prepared (for storms or aliens)

I snapped this picture out of our front door last weekend, just minutes before an electric pole was knocked down across our street—bringing down with it our ability to turn on lights and flush the toilet—and stayed there for the next 24 hours.

I’m not going to say anything about the fact that it took the utility company twenty four hours to remove a pole that was lying across a fairly busy highway blocking traffic, and that’s only because it was significantly less time than the five full days it took to restore power during the ice storms this winter.

The prospect of another week of hauling gallons of water in the house to flush the toilet (out in the country if you don’t have electricity, your well doesn’t work) and hauling water out to the donkey pasture, and that pesky business of not having heat in -5 degree weather, or not having AC in 90+ weather, was enough for us to break down and finally buy one of these.

So. I have this slightly neurotic tendency of daydreaming about what would happen if unfriendly aliens descended upon us one day, or the zombies took over, or generally apocalyptic things happened that required us to go into commado mode quickly. Usually while doing some mindless task like sanding baseboard or grouting a floor, which tells you how much time I spend thinking about this stuff. I’ve already mapped out my looting route—the top five places I’d hit, and what I’d get from each of them.

  1. Peanut Butter
  2. Antibiotics
  3. Chocolate (Seriously, do you know how many Hershey bars you’d have to haul out of a grocery store to make sure you’ve got a lifetime supply? Even if you’re life expectancy decreases seriously due to the presence of zombies, it still requires some planning.)
  4. Ammo
  5. Gasoline

Number 5 on that list used to be “chickens”, but it’s likely anywhere you’d steal chickens from is a place that also contains a redneck on high-alert and his shotgun (and I could trade some ammo for a few chickens anyway) plus now that we’ve got a generator, the gasoline will be infinitely more important for things like lights and the ability to keep blogging throughout the apocalypse.

The cat likes to think of these end-of-the-world exercises of mine as further proof that I am, on occasion, completely batshit crazy (like he can talk). I like to think of them as being one step ahead of the poor saps that will be huddled in their basement without any chocolate for the rest of eternity, but whatever.

The important thing here is that regardless of my alleged mental state, it was clearly time to make the big generator purchase… the one “disaster preparedness” everyone can agree on. Other things I think everyone should add to that list are:

Solar AA Battery Charger

Shortwave Radio/Flashlight/iPod Player

 

Solar Oven

 

AK47/Rocket launcher

The rifle-rocket-launcher combo isn’t included in FEMAs emergency supply kit suggestions, but seriously… I’m going to have to protect all of that chocolate somehow.


10 Responses

  1. Thanks for this post…it reminds me I need to update my zombie kit with a rocket launcher. I’m always thinking of those things too. Gotta be prepared.

    I would probably add some sort of soap and some veggie seed packets.

  2. Being a homeowner with a basement (therefor a sump pump), I can tell you that having a generator has saved us from a few floods, too. When the epic flood of June 2008 hit Central Indiana, we were prepared. Without power all of our neighbors had flooded basements (not covered by insurance). We however, were fast thinking enough to plug the sump pump in (via a very long heavy duty outdoor extension cord). Which kept it pumping and kept our basement dry. Thank goodness! One can never be too prepared. On a side note, my daughter gave me a chocolate that has an “for emergency use” wrapper on it. lol

  3. Is batshit crazy a bad thing???

    I’m really hoping to be out in the country with a big garden & chickens by the time I need to worry about this list. So my only change would be to replace peanut butter with wine.

  4. I am so FAR behind in this! Once I get the generator (since I have a grinder pump in my basement for sewage), I’ll work on the rest. However, I think there has to be some form of drinkable alcohol on your list as Cheryl points out! I’d still keep the peanut butter, though, and add a full medical kit to the antibiotics!

  5. I can totally see you with an AK47! Also, surprised you don’t have booze anywhere on that list!

    I also live in central Indiana & even though I don’t have a basement, I have neighbors who do & they learned the hard way about needing to have a sump pump rider on their insurance policy. They now have a new insurance company, a sump pump rider AND a generator.

    MM’s eye muscles must be strong as hell with all the eye rolling he does 😉

  6. By the way, guess I should read my sons survival guide concerning zombies…will the AK47 take care of them?!

  7. I’m a bit lazy so I’m just going to steal your list. I’m assuming they are in no particular order of importance but since I like to be orderly I have to move the rifle-rocket-launcher to #1. As for whether or not your bat-shit crazy as I tell my hubby that’s referred to as “being prepared” I realize it might be a foreign concept to the male population or someone like my hubby who likes to “wing it” but he’ll thank you when the zombies and or aliens do attack.
    Oh and I agree with the other posts soap and booze is probably a must. Booze also has multiple purposes as it can be used as a disinfectant instead of rubbing alcohol should someone get a cut or something.

  8. The rifle-rocket-launcher combo isn’t included in FEMAs emergency supply kit suggestions, but seriously… I’m going to have to protect all of that chocolate somehow.

    Fema’s too busy giving out Visa cards so they can be used for lap dances.

    We are going to have one of those natural gas generators installed once we are done with our restoration. The house can getting mighty cold…mighty fast when the wind is howling at 35 mph during January.

    In times of crisis…you can never have enough ammo. Look how people act when there is a small disaster. It will soon turn into “you have it…I want it mentality” and the only way to stop that is ammo.

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