Hell Hath No Fury

It’s T-38 hours until the moving truck shows up at the Farm House Rental to make the official move to the Liberty House, and two days ago I finally started to hit my groove with some of the projects I’d been struggling with for the last week. Progress has been epic (I have fully a fully stained floor in the study and a functioning shower downstairs), but I’m in that weird place where half my stuff is at one house and half is at the other. For example, I brought the body wash over to the new house but left the loofah at the old one. Because that makes sense.

The other good news is that the roof is just one day away from being completed, and it’s good from a “now I don’t have to worry about the roof anymore” standpoint, and also because there will be way less opportunities for me to end up in jail for beating someone to death with a roofing nailer. Why would I be contemplating murder via roofing tools you ask? Because, as you know, up until yesterday, these were the kind of texts I was sending my roofer…

And honestly, things are still going well with the roof itself. What didn’t go well was when I got to the house last night (after a long day at my day-job and a 50 minute drive wherein I drank about a liter and a half of water) walked directly into the bathroom and found my one and only working toilet in this house… clogged.

By someone other than me, obviously.

At first I was just mildly annoyed by this. I mean, let’s be honest here, people poop. I try not to be too uptight about these kind of things. But as it turns out it’s really difficult to daintily plunge a toilet without getting water and things everywhere. After about an hour of trying, I finally snapped.

The moral of this story is: Hell hath no fury like a woman forced to get within inches of somebody else’s shit particles in her own home.

I did not, by the way, have to throw anyone bodily from the roof. When I arrived at the house today the toilet was working, the bathroom was clean, and all 5 guys on the crew sheepishly apologized. I gave them a little hell for making a girl pee behind the barn at her own house at ten o’clock at night, but in the end all was forgiven.

And frankly, the roof is looking pretty good…


Those are the new shingles on the brick portion of the house.


And on the top section of this picture.

I did go with the Owens Corning’s Duration shingle in Estate Gray and I think it looks great. I also had them remove the two skylights in the stairwell and the one in the master bath, but they convinced me to just put a new flashing kit on the one in the kitchen. I’m leery about holes in the roof, but I went with it because I do like the extra light in there. We’ll see if I regret that in 5-10 years.

What I know about working with contractors it’s never perfect, even when they’re your personal friends. All in all, I’m really satisfied with their work, and it just took threatening the crew with a little physical harm to get them back in line. Hey, that’s just how it goes sometimes.


18 Responses

  1. Your house is so wonderful. I dream about it every day like it is mine. Than I remember that I don’t have your energy to tackle all the DIY projects and am glad it is yours. I still anxiously await your posts daily to see what you did, discovered, have to say next. You have great ideas and do wonderful work. Thanks for letting me go on this journey with you. It is so much fun.

    1. It makes it all the much more fun to have you guys come along with me! Thanks for tuning in through all the craziness, which is sure to continue for the foreseeable future…

  2. As my mom always says: oh, to be a mouse on the wall during that conversation.

    My mom isn’t good with sayings.

    Sounds like you handled it well. Dealing with other people’s poop is no fun. Unfortunately, as a stay-at-home-dad, poop handling is one of my primary occupations.

    Today is the absolute last day for our move (since the contract has our tenants moving-in tomorrow). I’ve long reached the point where I’d rather just throw out everything I own than move it into our tiny place. Just so much junk. Moving is easily one of my least favorite things to do.

  3. Super cute house. Hilarious story — not at the time, I’m sure. Jimmy, you can’t seriously be comparing your own darling son’s poop to contractor’s poop?!??????!!!! Shudder.
    I’m with you Kit on not being too uptight about such things, but there is a limit, and the limit is clearly exceeded when someone else’s shit is flying in your face.
    Anyway, your house is so adorable. Keep on rocking.

  4. I like that they all apologized sheepishly – they should be sheepish for leaving that mess for you! My boys have been taught (it might the only good thing they’ve learned from me) that they never leave their sh*t for someone else to clean up!

  5. Oh yuck! I have actually plunged a couple of toliets lately – one in a motel room last weekend even. But someone recently gave me a hint that helps. Make sure your plunger is the type with that little funnel ending. Then try to get as much water into it as you can before you plunge. The force of the water plunging in works much better than the force of just air.

    Big excitement for my day yesterday was actually getting a toliet back into the apt I’m working on in my Victorian!! Have had to use the one in another apartment for months!

    BTW – the roof and the floor are looking great!!

  6. Oh yuck. I would have gone APE – absolutely ape. Dealing with husband poop and children poop is bad enough. But to have some stranger’s ass not only on my toilet but dropping unmentionables into it – and then not having the decency to make sure I don’t have to SEE IT – heads would roll, my friend.

  7. You clearly have more forbearance than I. I suspect there would have been some serious tire-slashing action, had I been in your place. ICK.

  8. I had a similar reaction to bodily fluids, but I mistook it at first for a possible leak in my new downstairs powder room. Then I realized one of my asshole friends peed on my newly installed flooring.

    But I wound up being grateful that it meant I didn’t have to pull the toilet back up and fix a weak seal. Still though, GROSS. If there is pee on the floor, it had better be mine. And then I will make a doctors appointment for said bladder control issues.

  9. You know you probably gave that crew YEARS of razzing rights to the one fellow that created that … that… mess?

  10. That text to the roofer was awesome. You live up to the DIY Diva title in the best possible way. This blog has that amazing combination of teaching useful DIY skills (and fearlessness which is just as important as know-how), being full of surprises, and always entertaining and funny.

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