Things I Learned in Contractors Class: How Not to Die

Last month I almost fell off my chair in excitement when MysteryMan agreed to take the Residential Builders Pre-licensure courses with me, and believe me when I tell you I had us signed up and in that first class quicker than you could say “hold the insanity”, which is to say before MysteryMan had a chance to realize just what I was getting him in to.

Not that I have the inclination (or time) to be a professional Residential Builder… my Actual Real Job is demanding enough. I do have the desire to build a house that won’t collapse in a strong wind, or even worse, fails inspection, so I figure these classes can’t hurt. Okay, and also I love taking tests. I know, right? MysteryMan rolls his eyes too… but what can I say? I’m a dork. With tools.

How Not to Kill Yourself While Building a House

Our first class was probably one of the least fun, but most applicable, of the lot. Other than working Ricky to the point of a heart attack we haven’t had any major injuries. Although MysteryMan took a header off of the Station roof once. And then there was the incident with the ladder.

Okay. So maybe we need to spend a little additional time with our safety manuals. Not to worry, MIOSHA construction safety standards 101 straightened us out, and here you have it… our plan for an accident-free DIY residential construction.

Memorial House: A Plan for Death-free Building

All builders, subcontractors, friends, indentured servants, or people otherwise wielding bigass powertools shall:

Comply with the safe and proper use of equipment and tools. Which means wearing shoes. Mostly.

Use the proper safety equipment. Luggage straps wrapped around your belt loops do not constitute an appropriate harness for using the sawsall at plus-twelve feet.

Be aware of the potential harm from plants, insects, reptiles, or other animals. Like Harold the Peeping Opossum.

Only use tools that they are qualified to use.

Not work under the influence of an intoxicating beverage.

Maintain an organized worksite.

Any person(s) caught violating these rules will be prosecuted with additional drywall hanging duty.

It’s shocking, but I totally got 100% on my MIOSHA safety standards test (so did MysteryMan), and hey look! They passed me.

One down, six to go. On this week’s syllabus: Business Management & Cost Estimating. If this dude tells me I can’t afford granite countertops, I’m totally walking out.

For actual real Accident Prevention Program templates, try here… they have several options to choose from.