Alternative titles for this post: “Watch me beat the hell out of a piece of drywall”, “Things I should not post on the internet”, “When proving your point goes very, very wrong.”
Here is something you have to own up to as a person of smaller stature working on big projects with big tools. You often look ridiculous because of the things you have to do to get as much leverage as someone twice your size does.
MysteryMan, for example, can pick up a shovel and with barely a tap of his toe it slides six inches into the ground like a hot knife through butter. Meanwhile I’m next to him jumping on my shovel with both feet like it’s a pogo stick and I’ve seen golfers make divots larger than the hole I’m digging.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that it often takes me twice as long to do what guys twice my size can do in half the time. And that’s ok, I still get stuff done. Okay, maybe I’m a little touchy about it. Maybe when MysteryMan tells me I can’t do something, my streak of stubbornness sets in and I do things that should only be attempted with a spotter. Wearing full body armor.
Back when I wrote about hanging ceiling drywall by myself I admitted to struggling with getting a nine-foot piece of drywall on to a drywall rack inside of a nine foot bathroom. This was after someone glibly said “No way you’re getting that onto that rack by yourself” and then I started throwing sharp objects at him until he left me to tackle the project on my own. So I set up the video camera to prove how easily I could pick the drywall up and set it on the rack myself. And… uh…
I really should not be posting this to the entire Internet.
But I do make fun of every guy who tells me I can’t do things on this website all of the time and I would be remiss for not sharing something that perfectly illustrates why they tell me not to do things sometimes. In my defense… I can actually pick up and move a big sheet of drywall on my own. Maneuvering it in a small space is a different story.
Highlights:
00:14 – I try to pick a nine foot piece of drywall up with my armpit. Eh, it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
00:25 – Things are looking good.
00:38 – Not so good.
00:52 – I realize my “master plan” of proving MysteryMan wrong has backfired. I have absolutely no control over this piece of drywall AND IT’S ALL ON CAMERA.
0:55 – 01:00 – I realize I’m pretty well screwed, but refuse to give up.
01:01 – I run out of ideas.
01:02 – It occurs to me I may be able to use my butt to more easily maneuver the drywall. This is surprisingly successful.
01:06- Uh, oops. Maybe a little too successful.
01:08 – Eh, we can buff that out.
01:27 – It actually took three minutes and fifty-five seconds to lift one piece of drywall 3 feet onto a rack. I edited out the part where I stood there for 50 seconds contemplating the meaning of life.
01:34 – I sum up the entire experience in two words.
I don’t actually recommend that you waste a minute and thirty-four seconds of your life watching this video. Except for maybe the part where I demolish a corner of drywall with the sheer size of my ass. That part is a little funny.
Proving a point gone wrong from kitliz on Vimeo.
Yes, kind of funny, but mostly just ridiculous.
I need to eat more Wheaties.
EDIT: Against my better judgment I shared this video with one of my work buddies and this was his assessment via AIM.
Brian D: The grunting is HILARIOUS.
Brian D: “ehh”
Brian D: “ehjhh”
Brian D: huh huh
Brian D: SMACK
Brian D: deep breaths
Brian D: assess situation
Brian D: BREAK OFF CORNER
Brian D: HAHAHAHAHHAA
Brian D: look up
Brian D: look down
Brian D: look up
Brian D: lift
Brian D: fail
Brian D: laugh
Brian D: out of breath
Brian D: HAHAHAHHAHA
Brian D: that piece or drywall didn’t MOVE
Brian D: that is amazing.
Holy shit, I was laughing so hard I was crying. Thanks for that flattering assessment of my DIY skills Brian. Amazing is right.
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Comments
Kate
OMG! Thank You! That’s the best laugh I’ve had in ages. And I was also laughing so hard I was crying over your sound effects. It’s almost to the point of panty piddling funny. And I really thought you were going to make it work. It’s great that you have such a wonderful sense of humor about your abilities, or in this case, lack thereof. But you definitely get a A+ for effort.
patti
pwn’d by sheetrock. lol!
Lisa
I so would have done the same thing. Except for setting up the camera!
Gene
Heheh. I’m larger than you, but you’re demonstrating (1) why I usually work with 4×8 sheets not larger ones (especially for 5/8″ drywall for ceilings) (2) why there’s an extra seam in the drywall in our master bathroom — I just couldn’t get the full sheet in, on the lift and up to the ceiling.
Elisa @ whatthevita
wow, i loved this – also clicked over to see your other videos. I hope you do more videos – they’re cool and informative!
Sara @ Russet Street Reno
What in the hell were you thinking, you petite, usually smart person? That was a funny vid, for sure. I loved how you were working that ass! Too bad you just have to depend on the tall men in your life.
amisare waswerebeen
That was awesome. Thanks for sharing.
Hella Stella
Aaaaah, coming from a gal who’s 5’2 and about to tear apart my house, I empathize.
michele
5′ nothing here – I chalk it up to one of those times when being little is just a pain in the butt.
Here a tip for digging holes of any sort. It is a weeee bit messy but it will cut the soil, in our case nasty clay, like butter. Dish soap, cheap dish soap and water.
Holyoke Home
GAH!
You=hero
Who knew that drywall squeaked?
Jen
Reading through some of the archives and I just laughed so hard I cried and had to blow my nose and I scared the dog.
Karen Anne
For digging, use a pitchfork first.